What We Do for Beauty

We all know the phrase, "It hurts to be beautiful." It's kind of my motto. I mean, what's a little pain, right? Stilettos for hours at a wedding, ripping hair off your face with hot wax, sleeping (or not sleeping at all) in ridiculous contraptions such

as the pink sponge rollers, that seemed like a good idea when putting them in before bed, but not such a good idea when you get up the next morning with half of them out, therefore leaving half of your head in Shirley Temple ringlets, and the other half straight as a board.

Or what about the infamous headgear (No this is not me in this picture, but it does resemble me in high school, minus the hands under the armpits. My poor parents spent the money on a headgear, that I literally wore one time. I decided an extra year of braces was so worth it to not have to wear that monstrosity.

My latest "pain" was the home keratin treatment I tried. I have had two professional 'Brazilian Blowouts' to straighten my hair (which looks like headgear girl if I don't take professional measures). Anyway, the home treatment is not as good as the professional one to say the least. I used the Organix brand Brazilian Treatment and my hair was greasy for 48 hours (which is how long you have to keep it in without washing it, or putting it behind your ears or in a ponytail. I also smelled of some crazy things. Some people said, microwaved chicken noodle soup or ramen noodles, some said cookies, some said suntan oil. I think it was a combo of all three. Anyway, I would say that this pain isn't worth it. Spend the money on real Scotch tape, Kraft cheese, and a real salon Keratin Treatment. You'll get what you pay for otherwise :). What kind of pain have you put yourself through for beauty, and was it worth it?

Happy Summer Ya'll

Last year, I dropped a whole size in clothes with no explanation. It was nice...really nice. I was smaller than I can remember. Like pre-high school. So I did what any girl would do in this situation and ditched all my clothes that were too big for me!

Well guess what happened when momma tried to put on her white shorts a few weeks ago. They wouldn't button! Surely they shrunk in the dryer, you say?! Well that what's I said! But come to find out, ALL of my shorts shrunk in the dryer!!!

So I put together a plan to start working out and dieting like crazy. But honestly, I'm not in the mood for dieting. Seriously, it just makes me grumpy, and I'm already grumpy enough as it is. I don't feel the need to bring it on myself. And besides, it WAS a total fluke that I was that skinny last year. I have no idea how it happened. I think my body had me confused with someone else. And let's get real. There's no way, even if I tried that I was going to drop enough weight quick enough to fit into those tiny shorts.

So onto plan "B." 1) Go shopping and buy some clothes that actually fit (this is what I tell my clients when they gain weight...time to take my own advice). I did this, and I feel better already! 2) Spend lots of time at the pool....cuz tan fat is prettier than white fat. 3) Sit on the back porch and drink a Blue Moon while my hubby grills cheeseburgers and listen to the faint sound of the ice cream maker churning up something good in my kitchen. Ahhhh, now that sounds like a plan! Oh yeah, and with a little help from my friend, I can maintain what I am now so I won't have to go shopping again!

Happy Summer Ya'll!!!

It all comes back around?

Hmmm, some things never change...the good, bad and the just plain ugly!!

Somebody said...

Happy Mother's day to all of you mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers, godmothers, those who long to be mothers, and those who are missing their mothers.

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby ............
somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "Normal," is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct
Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring ......
Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good."
Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices .....
Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother.
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with her math.

Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first.
Somebody doesn't have five children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books .........
Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery .......

Somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten

or on a plane headed for military "boot camp."

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back ........
somebody never organized four giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married ...

Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home ....

Somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her .........

Somebody isn't a mother.

I changed my mind

Don't judge me. I'm a woman, and I have the right to change my mind as often as I want. Here is my Easter dress...

...it's from Forever 21. I know, I know. I dedicated a whole post to how much I disliked their spring fashions, but I swear, everytime I go in there, they have new stuff! I bought this one in Mobile, and oh how I do love it! It is from the Love 21 line, and is so feminine and pretty. And if you were wondering, yes, my skin is as pasty as the girl in this picture. I think it will look much better on my when I have a tan. Who has a tan on Easter anyway?

2011 Oscar Fashions

Back by popular demand by my one reader (and it's my sister, pathetic!), here is Holly's rundown on the 2011 Oscar Fashions...for what it's worth. You know what I love about this? We all have opinions. I actually watched the Oscars from start to finish with my mother-in-law, and some things she LOVED, I LOATHED! Same with my sister, and same with me and Joan Rivers. So here goes!

While Ann Hathaway left much to be desired with her hosting skills, she knocked it out of the park with her 8 costume changes, with the exception of the blue pleather looking one. She gets the "Home Run" award.

Ok, mixed reviews here. Loved it when I saw it on the red carpet, but when she presented, I thought she had tattoos on her boobs. It was weird. She she gets the "Monet (beautiful from a distance, hot mess up close)" award.

Nicole had one of my least favorite dresses of the night, but she gets an honorable mention for best "arm-candy." Look at sweet Keith stepping back and letting her shine. Such a doll.

Marisa Tomei gets my "worst dressed" award. Really, worst look all around. Not sure what she was thinking.

Mark Ruffalo gets "worst arm-candy award." His wife couldn't decide what to wear, so she put two dresses on.

Matthew and wife get the "Can't stop staring" award. They were gorgeous.

"Can you believe that I got this right off the rack at Wet Seal?!"

"Do you love my dress? My daughter made it with leftover doilies from her valentine's art project!"

Reese was feeling sentimental, so she had her designer replicate her 1994 prom dress.

Hilary was one of my favorites, and gets the "diva duck" award.

Natalie gets my "bun in the oven beauty" award, although, I was not diggin' her tassel earrings.

These two get "age appropriate dresses" award. So glad Miley Cyrus wasn't invited.

Giuliana, do us all a favor and eat a burger and fries, ok?

Halle gets my "best dressed" award, and "I hope I look like her when I'm 45" award. Stunning.

Would love to hear what you all (or just you Lindsey) thought of the fashions. Does anyone disagree with me? Did I leave anyone out?

Why?

This is one time it is NOT OK to sacrifice fashion for comfort. These are the craziest shoes (or whatever they are) I've ever

seen, and when I see people wearing them I can't help staring. They are so bizarre and I want to laugh and cry at the same

time when I see them.