Thursday, 5 June 2014
Sunday, 11 May 2014
We have a very sweet and funny Vietnamese priest at our parish. As he kept referring to today's holiday, it sounded like he was saying "Happy Martyr's Day" instead of "Happy Mother's Day." Then I got to thinking that maybe Fr. Tran doesn't have it all that wrong? As I got home and had to fold the mountains of laundry in my room, I KNOW he was right. No, seriously, Happy Mother's Day to all of you. Today has been wonderful and my hubby has spoiled me with two delicious home cooked meals and took whiny kids out of mass so I could pray :) God is good and I'm so grateful for my family. And grateful that we have mountains of clothes for me to fold. We are truly blessed!!
Monday, 5 May 2014
Here we are, 5 months after the birth of my sweet angel girl, and I haven't recorded the story of her birth. The details are already getting blurry, so here it is.
It was Thanksgiving Day and we were so glad to all be home as a family. I was due November 22 and we weren't sure where we would be for Thanksgiving; home or the hospital. Here it was, November 28th, Thanksgiving Day, and since I was feeling nothing, the answer was clear that home it was! So I got up and went to mass by myself (such a rare treat). I was really in a good place of knowing I was where God wanted me, and that baby would come when it was good and ready. After mass, I went home and helped Tadd get lunch on the table. Tadd had worked to prepare a very delicious meal. We pulled out our wedding china and crystal and did it up right. This was fun for the kids as we rarely have a "fancy meal."
After lunch, I was doing dishes. Lots of washing since I needed to hand wash all of the nice dishes! And I felt it. A good contraction. In the previous weeks, I had been up twice timing contractions and both times they ended up being false labor. When I had that first contraction, I thought, "how could I not have known that was false labor...this hurts and it's the real deal!" I didn't say anything yet, but just kept working and let them start coming. After I was done with the kitchen, I told Tadd that I was feeling some pain and we called my mom. It was about 1 or 2:00 in the afternoon and contractions were not regular, but painful. My mom was in the middle of lunch in Alabama with my uncle and his family. We decided that due to my past long labors, she could wait to drive up the next day (if I was actually in labor).
We timed contractions starting about 4:00 and they were all over the place. I wasn't sure what to think. You would think with the 4th kid, I would know if it was really labor, but nope. I wasn't sure. By 7:00, they were 11-13 minutes apart. I texted my nurse (may I suggest that you make friends with your OB nurse?). She's the best. She told me to keep timing them and then informed me that my Doctor was not on call. This was heartbreaking for me. He only has one Doctor working for him and she usually only takes a few nights a month call for him. Another reason for me to release control to God. Not something I could do anything about...ugh...I hate that! By 9:00, contractions were 6-7 minutes apart. I had been in and out of the bathtub and bounced on the exercise ball. I talked to Missy (nurse) again and she told me my Dr. Sizemore was going to meet me at the hospital and to text him when I was on my way. Isn't he great!!! He wasn't on call and still came anyway!
I had been texting my bestie, Mary, and she was in Indiana for Thanksgiving. Since we decided my mom shouldn't come (and now we knew the baby was coming), Mary decided to come home to help me with the kids. She's amazing. She turned around when she was almost at her hotel and came back to Tennessee.
By now, it was about 10:30 pm. I was good hanging out at home and was in pain, but was managing it. Tadd came storming in the bedroom with his coat on, bag on shoulder and keys in hand. He said, "Let's go to the hospital. I've done this with you before and I know that look on your face...it's time to go." I didn't want to go, but wasn't in the mood to argue. As you can see from the screen shot from my handy dandy contraction timer app on my phone, I see why he wanted to go. They were 2-5 minutes apart. So we texted Dr. Sizemore and he said he was already on his way in.
Mary and Brian got in town just in time. Brian and their boys came to my house to spend the night with the kids (who were sleeping by now). Tadd and I got to the hospital at 11:00 pm and while we were registering, Mary comes storming in with a pillow and blanket. She said she'd be there in the waiting room all night waiting for the arrival of our baby! The lady registering me told her she didn't have to wait in the ER waiting room, but directed her upstairs to the labor and delivery floor. Mary laughs when she says that if she were me at this point in labor, she'd have been screaming and freaking out. I was in a zone. I had my earbuds in and eyes closed. The next few hours are a bit of a blur. I just know that I ended up in a bed in labor and delivery. And I also know that they ask you entirely to many questions when you get to the hospital. I really have no idea what I said to those people. I just wanted everyone to leave me alone and be quiet. I was really seeing the benefit of a home birth at this point. Dr. Sizemore came in and immediately made me feel like I could do this! He has this presence about him. Can't explain it. I think it is the Holy Spirit in him, honestly. So he checked me and I was 7-8 cm dilated. Not as far along as I felt, but all was good. I got up to go to the bathroom and couldn't. I was in so much pain I couldn't even get up. The nurse kept wanting me to get up, or change positions, but I couldn't. It hurt too much. I would've loved a tub at this point, but no go at the hospital. I was in my zone though still with my earbuds in. About an hour later, I was just about all the way there. Almost 10 cm. The contractions were just non-stop it felt like at this point. Not really, but it felt that way. I asked if I could start pushing and they said yes and called the Doctor in. It was a little after midnight. I pushed and pushed for awhile, and the nurses and doctor and Tadd were all so encouraging and told me how great I was doing (one earbud in at this point so I could hear what Dr. S was saying). But after about an hour, I got to the point where I needed to know exactly what to do to get this baby OUT!!! I was exhausted and the pressure was so intense that I didn't know when I was actually having a contraction or not. They had to tell me when to push!! I told the Dr. to please get this baby out. He said if I followed his directions, we would meet our baby in just a few more pushes. I yanked my earbud out and said, "Ok, Let's do this!" The song "Hello World" by Lady Antebellum was playing when I did this and looking back, it was so appropriate! He guided me and coached me, and two pushes later, he held up my baby girl. We all thought it would be a boy (doctor and nurses included), so we were shocked to meet our black haired beauty. Cecilia Jane. Due on St. Cecilia's feast day, but came in her own time. November 29th at 1:49 a.m. 8lb 6 oz 21 inches long. A perfect gift from God. St. Cecilia, Pray for us!
Tuesday, 21 January 2014
This made me laugh...had to share!
Thursday, 28 November 2013
I think I just realized that I haven't announced my pregnancy to the blog world, although I think most of you know by now...so sorry if you don't! Anywho, my due date was November 22...that's 6 days ago. I will say that my due date and the 2 days that followed were tough. I was weepy and feeling all out of control of my life and my body. I don't like to be out of control.
A few things have been said to me that have helped put things into perspective. One was from my pastor, Fr. Bala who reminded me that every time someone called me or emailed or texted or stopped me at Church to ask how I was feeling, it wasn't to make me crazy, yet only out of love and concern. While I knew this all along, it helped to hear it. He said to reflect on how many people care about me instead of how anxious it was making me. (I'm feeling so much better about this, so if you are one of the people checking on me, don't stop!!!).
The second came from my friend, Sue (one of the ones texting to tell me she was praying for me). I told her I think that by being overdue, I was being taught a lesson in "letting go" and was not experiencing peace. Again...hard for this control freak. She told me this: "Put yourself before the Presence of Our Lord. Squeeze your hands really tight...how much you are holding onto it...then slowly open your hands and hand it to him!! He wants it!! Stay in His Presence!! That's MY peace, just sayin'." After she sent me this message, I realized that I was literally walking around with my fists clenched. I have since let it go and feel such peace.
The last thing I heard was last night and is more about preparing me for the pain of childbirth I will be enduring soon. It was from a podcast by Fr. Michael Schmitz on his homily from 11/24 called "The Plan." He said this: "Here is Eve, and she doesn't trust in God's love, and so she turns in on herself. And so what does God say? God says, 'The problem is that you've turned in on yourself. The solution is that you need to die to yourself. And so what am I going to do? I am going to allow you to experience pain in bringing forth life so that you can know the cost of love.' The point of that pain in childbirth is not punishment. It's meant to be remedial training. Eve didn't know how to love, so I am going to teach you that love costs something." How beautiful is that?! That God gave me this message so that I can reflect on dying to self and that love costs something. The end result of my pain will be the love of a baby.
All of this is mainly for me to look back on in the future and see how I was feeling when I was 41 weeks pregnant. I'm very grateful today. Grateful to be pregnant when I know so many others who long to conceive and can't. I'm grateful that I got to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner with my sweet family and not in the hospital. I'm grateful that God has a plan for me and this little one's arrival. And while I don't know when it will be, I do know it WILL BE EVENTUALLY!!! I won't be pregnant forever. In the meantime, I am letting go of control slowly but surely. Oh, and here is a pic of how I look at this point. As much as I hate to post this big mama pic of me (or a pic of me at all), I know I'll want this on here to remember. I wish I could post the ones of me and the kids...they are super cute. I'm also grateful that physically, I feel good. Things could be worse, right? Thanks to you all for your prayers. I definitely feel them...keep them coming! I'll let ya'll know when sweet angel arrives!
Monday, 11 November 2013
Tuesday, 5 November 2013
This is a beautiful view from a man's standpoint...